God's Silence

I have felt so discouraged for the past several days and I'm really not sure why. I guess the news that my kindred-spirit-co-worrier-encourager-stay-at-home friend (Denise) is moving helped bring it on, maybe? Anyway, since I've been staying home with Luke I have had more time to spend with the Lord. Things were going really well. The entire process of med school and residency had really just crushed my spirit, but now that I am away from all that my joy is returning. But for whatever reason this past week it was gone again. I really believed it was an attack from satan and maybe that is part of it.

I picked up my copy of My Utmost For His Highest (by Oswald Chambers--wonderful daily devotional book. I highly recommend it.) this morning and opened it to where I left off, which was October 10th. That day was about how to know God's revealed truths. They are sealed until they are opened up to us through obedience. You can't philosophize, think or worry your way into them. You just obey. But isn't that what I've been doing? I have quiet time every morning (when Luke lets me), I pray for guidance, I read my Bible, go to church, confess my sins. I mean, I know I could do even better, but I have told God that I need help. And it only seems like things have gotten worse.

Back in August, Brother Johnny Fain gave a message on knowing the will of God. He pointed out that we always seem to be wondering if we're carrying out His will, when there are a lot of things we should do that we already know are His will:

For unbelievers that is to accept Christ as your savior.

As believers we know we should:

• Live a sacrificed life


• share the gospel


• be baptized


• tithe


• do missions


• learn and study His word


• put off the things of your old life--anger, bitterness, anxiety


• love one another


• go to church


• raise your children in the ways of Christ

He said that we should use what we already know and God will show us what we need to know.

I certainly have a lot of room for improvement, more places to be obedient, but maybe this is a time of God's silence. The October 11th lesson in My Utmost talks about God's silence as His answers. Oswald says, "God will give you the very blessings you ask if you refuse to go any further without them, but His silence is a sign that He is bringing you into an even more wonderful understanding of Himself."

So, I'm going to try not to be immature and say, "Let me hear you, Lord!" I'm trying to praise Him for His silence and wait for something even more wonderful.